“Can I use your computer to check my email?” asks the houseguest so sweetly. “I’ll only be a few minutes,” she says.
How many times has this request sent shivers up your spine? Home technology has been engrained in our culture for decades, and with it, the etiquette has done its best to catch up.
However, ways to deal with this particular quandary have woefully lagged behind.
Houseguests using your computer: Why is it a problem?
The houseguest (probably self-invited) who utters this request most likely thinks it’s your problem. And it is.
Chances are, your guest will never just be a few minutes. They will sit at your computer, no doubt with a hot beverage near the keyboard, pester you with annoying questions because their computer back home is “different” (it most likely has another operating platform,) and when their few minutes has turned into an hour, you find your configuration settings have been changed!
At best the request to use your computer is rude and intrusive, but if you work from home and use your computer to earn any part of your living, this situation is entirely unacceptable.
As the host, the houseguest should be welcomed into your home. You’re expected to provide food, drink and clean sheets and towels if they are staying the night. But are they entitled to use your toothbrush just because they left theirs at home?
In a way the request to use your computer is not much different. It indicates a lack of boundaries. If you are uncomfortable with them handling your equipment, it will be up to you to set limits.
How to tactfully say no
Here are some tips that should help the next time you find yourself in a situation like this:
- If you have a spare computer hooked up, direct them to it instead of your primary machine. If they are checking their email, and only checking their email, slow speed or an outdated browser should not be too much of a problem.
- Gently suggest they bring their own laptop or tablet prior to the visit. Tell them they are welcome to tap into your wireless signal, but not the computer itself. You can soften the blow by saying your computer has been acting up recently and you don’t want them to be left with an unreliable Internet connection.
- Find a way to tactfully refuse if the spare unit/portable device options are not viable. You can say your computer has been finicky and you worry about a crash. Explain you lost crucial data before, and want to get it checked by a professional before anyone uses it. Then direct them to the nearest public library.
Ben Franklin famously said, “Visitors and fish smell after three days.” His was sound observation for the Eighteenth Century. In the 21st Century we are going to have to find our own way. Home technology etiquette is a good place to start.
About the author: This guest post written by Michelle, who works from home writing about home technology among other subjects.