As parents and teachers, we need to enhance our abilities to create a relationship of trust with the students or the children we interact with.
The task sometimes seems hard and we often feel discouraged. Fortunately, there is hope with the vision that both teachers and children can discover the joy of learning.
Empowering children with self confidence and strengthening your capabilities to teach will become second hand as you integrate the following six principles or beliefs:
- The map is not the territory. Wherever you travel and whenever you use a map, you know that this map doesn't show exactly the whole territory. Some things are just not included on the map. In the same way, our view of the world doesn't show the complete reality.
When children, as well as each one of us, experience the world we give it meaning, which is often distorted. This fact help us understand that we need to listen to better understand children's interpretation of the world and thus help them grow in their view of the world, not our own, which is also only a map.
- Every behavior has a positive intention. Children sometimes show strange, unexpected behavior but we have to remember that their behavior is totally congruent to them at the present time. It is their best choice available according to their current map of the world. Their behavior always has an intention and this intention serves them, otherwise why would they do it.
Although we must remember that the positive intention does not always manifest itself the way we would like it to. What we need to do is find and understand it, while respecting the child we're teaching or raising.
- There is no failure, only feedback. Teachers and parents often don't know how to handle failure. Bad grades should never mean bad child. It only means: "What can I do better as a teacher/parent to help the child realize that his failure is an opportunity to go forward, build his own character and build the one characteristic necessary to become a successful person: persistence."
- You cannot not communicate. You don't only communicate with language but by your behavior, your posture and your voice. Each one of your movements convey a message. Children are more aware of these messages than you think and they give meaning to them. A single look could mean: "you're a bad boy", or "I love you". Beware of all the messages you convey because you cannot not communicate.
- Everyone has all the resources to succeed in learning. Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Leonardo de Vinci, Pablo Picasso had two things in common. They had learning disabilities and they were geniuses.
In spite of their problems, they used all the resources they need to realize their dreams, to learn and achieve. Being aware that every child has all the resources he needs to succeed will allow us to love him or her so much better. The more you love a child, the more you will help him realize his potential.
- Actions are not the person. The student or child you're dealing with is unique and the personal worth of the individual is held constant. But naturally, children's behavior is sometimes questionable.
This is when we must distinguish between "You're stupid" and "what you've just done is stupid". Learn how to make the difference between behavior and identity. Let this principle be reflected in your language.
I've made these principles mine and I've seen many changes in my life and in others. Do the same thing with the children you raise or teach. I can promise you that you'll see things that you've never seen before.
About the author:
Emmanuel Segui is the author of "Moving from Vision to Action".
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